The Power of Forgiveness - Part 2
Why Forgive?
MAIN POINTS & SCRIPTURE REFERENCES:
THREE KEYS TO AN APOLOGY
FORGIVENESS IS A GIFT
I FORGIVE FOR MY OWN GOOD
MATTHEW 6:11-12, 12-14
MATTHEW 18:15, 17,
21-22, 23-27, 28-35
Forgiveness is a fuzzy subject today. In part one, we said forgiveness was a letting go, declaring a note no longer due and payable. In part two, I want to continue on that theme.
As we look around us - forgiveness is fuzzy because it is cheap, apologies are weak and often insincere. Our nation's capital is an unfortunate example. It makes us cynical about forgiveness.
Let me remind you of some recent well publicized apologies:
- Mike Tyson's professed regret about biting off part of Evander Holyfield's ear, and then there was the apology from Dennis Rodman for ethnic slurs.
- More recently we have Latrell Sprewell's apology for attacking his boss.
- Or last November the Times said, QUOTE: "President Clinton's responded to allegations of campaign finance irregularities by saying, 'Mistakes were made.' Note that he never said by whom, leaving us to assume, I suppose, that the mistakes made themselves.
- Over Christmas Eve Bill Clinton forgave - federal felonies - some 50 years old, like the man in the Navy who had stolen 4#s of butter.
- Or perhaps you saw the New Year's Eve paper that suggested we all JOIN THE "APOLOGY A WEEK"
- Own the truth that you have injured others.
- Decide to take responsibility to repair the injury.
- Admit your wrong doing and ask for forgiveness.
The Bible connects our forgiveness of others with our own need to be forgiven.
Mat 6:11 Give us our food for today,12 and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
Note - Jesus allows us to ask - before we forgive in His instruction.
How I accept an apology:
It takes truth (Yes, I was deeply hurt when you...) and grace ( I forgive you because God done that for me) to accept an apology.
Confusion - the question from last week.
Forgiveness not always imply reconciliation.
Definitely does not imply an obligation to continue in dangerous situation.
Matthew 18 - a process of confronting a non-confessing, or non-repentance
fellow-believer.
"Forgive and then what" was the question. Pray for them. And go away. Point is leave
them to God. Revenge is not yours.
There is a Chinese proverb that says: The person who seeks revenge should dig two graves.
While forgiveness should always have reconciliation as its goal there is a contingency.
V15 go privately and point out the fault.
Lit: Go and convince him- Bring moral, spiritual, and intellectual arguments to
show him that he is in the wrong. (Yeager)
Show him his sin in a way that he will see it as sin and feel guilty accordingly.
(Lenski)
If the other person listens and confesses it you have won that person back.
Listening = sees it as sins and repents, implies seeing and changing.
As understood in the following verse...if you are unsuccessful.
V17 but the other person won't accept it, treat that
person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.
How did Jesus treat them?
That is reconciliation - but forgiveness can be given none the less.
Forgiveness - given. It is a gift, not something earned.
"A gift given to the totally incompetent, not a reward bestowed on the suitably
disposed." (Capon p40 Parables of Grace.)
If you are dealing with a battering spouse, or repeat sex offender etc.... you don't
go back.You may agree to disagree.
Gen 31:49 Jacob and Laben
But you need to forgive.
{21} Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how
often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" {22} "No!" Jesus
replied, "seventy times seven!"
There is no three strikes and you are out on forgiveness even if you no longer live,
work, or play with each other.
In a recent news article entitled "The Science of Forgiveness" it was reported that
some new studies done concluded:
people who forgave were less depressed and anxious, slept better and were free from
obsessive thoughts and revenge fantasies. Many of our physical symptoms of sickness
are manifestations of a spiritual struggle with forgiveness.
For your own good.
{23} "For this reason, Dia Touto
the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts
up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. {24} In the process, one
of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. {25} He couldn't
pay, so the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had
be sold to pay the debt. {26} But the man fell down before the king and begged him,
'Oh, sir, be patient with me, Lit: be big hearted and I will pay it
all.' {27} Then the king was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave
his debt."
The king cancels the debt - for his own reasons.
Look closer. The servant - who like us is a closet book keeper - no doubt thinks
his master is actually responding to his ridiculous offer to repayment.
That is us!
He assumes that the king is not only a bookkeeper interested solely in money,
BUT also that his is a stupid bookkeeper who can't spot a losing proposition!
The fact is the king has responded to nothing the servant has in his mind about promises
of repayment. The king drops dead to the idea of being a bookkeeper and
forgives the servant the debt. He does what the servant couldn't dream of doing
-- because he is still keeping book.
Why was the king able to do what the servant is not? Because the king is willing
to end his life as a bookkeeper and the servant is not.
{28} "But when the man left the king, he went to a
fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat
and demanded instant payment. {29} His fellow servant fell down before him and begged
for a little more time. 'Be patient and I will pay it,' he pleaded.
{30} But his creditor wouldn't wait. He had the man arrested and jailed until the
debt could be paid in full.
Notice the servant's attitude, unwilling to die to old life - he misses the new life
he has been given.
{31} "When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went
to the king and told him what had happened. {32} Then the king called in the man
he had forgiven and said, 'You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt
because you pleaded with me. {33} Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant,
just as I had mercy on you?'"
King: I died for you! But you were so busy making plans for your stupid life you
never even noticed what I gave you.
{34} Then the angry king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny. {35} "That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart."
So what began as a parable of forgiveness - rooted in God's grace ends as parable of judgment.
Why do I need to forgive?
This parable teaches us the only basis on which anyone will finally be judged.
Not any of my debts, none of our sins, none of our trespasses, will ever be an obstacle
to God's grace and forgiveness.
But if we refuse to die - to our life as bookkeepers, refusing to forgive, binding
on them their debts in the name of our own right to life-- we will by not letting
forgiveness have its way through us cut ourselves off from ever knowing the joy
of forgiveness in us.
In heaven there are only forgiven sinners. Only failures who have died to their
life as bookkeepers and been raised up the King who died that they might live.
But in hell there are only forgiven sinners too.
The sole difference between heaven and hell is that in heaven the forgiveness is
accepted and passed along. While in hell it is rejected.
In heaven the death of the king as a bookkeeper is celebrated and new life is enjoyed.
In hell the old life of bookkeeping is insisted on.
They still see the King interested in the books above all. Still rationalizing,
explaining, denying the debt or promising to pay it all back.
And that becomes the pointless torture that it always has been for those who will
not live by grace.
I Forgive Because I want to live the new life God has for me.
Mat 6:12 and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.13 And don't let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.14 If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you."
Let us pray:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Recommended Source Material for this Series: The Power of Love by David
and Janet Congo, Moody Press
